The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable with Your Word

Your words shape your reality—every sentence a thread in the fabric of your life. Speak with integrity, using words as tools for creation rather than weapons of destruction. This principle invites you to wield the power of language to uplift, inspire, and align with your highest truth.

Quote: “The word is pure magic, and misuse of the word is black magic.”

Don’t Take Anything Personally

What others say and do is a mirror of their world, not yours. Detaching from others’ projections isn’t indifference—it’s liberation. By letting go of the weight of others’ opinions, you reclaim your peace and anchor yourself in clarity and self-trust.

Quote: “When you take things personally, you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflict.”

Don’t Make Assumptions

Assumptions are silent agreements you make with yourself, often based on fear or insecurity. By seeking clarity and asking courageous questions, you break the cycle of miscommunication and create a foundation for trust and connection in every relationship.

Quote: “Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want.”

Always Do Your Best

Your best isn’t static; it’s alive, changing with your energy and circumstances. Doing your best is about showing up fully in the moment, free from the prison of perfectionism or self-judgment. It’s an act of self-respect and a declaration of your commitment to growth.

Quote: “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less.”

Breaking Through the Fog

The “fog” Ruiz describes isn’t just a metaphor—it’s the accumulation of societal expectations, cultural norms, and personal experiences that distort how we see ourselves and the world. This fog traps us in fear, judgment, and limiting beliefs, making it nearly impossible to live authentically.

By recognizing and challenging this conditioning, you begin to see life with clarity, as it truly is—not as you’ve been taught to see it. Breaking through the fog isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing practice of awareness and choice.

Releasing the Parasite of Fear

Fear, judgment, and self-rejection act like an internal parasite, feeding on our insecurities and reinforcing the agreements we’ve unknowingly made to stay small. This parasite thrives on doubt and negativity, keeping us stuck in cycles of pain and self-sabotage.

By replacing these harmful agreements with the Four Agreements, you starve the parasite and reclaim your inner power. Freedom comes not from fighting the parasite, but from outgrowing it with love, acceptance, and truth.

Living with Purpose and Alignment

Life is either happening to you or through you. The Four Agreements shift your mindset from being a passive participant in your life to an intentional creator. When you stop reacting to others’ expectations and start living by your values, every decision becomes an act of alignment.

This is where you find flow—not by forcing outcomes but by showing up fully in each moment, grounded in your truth. Living with purpose isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up as your best self, moment by moment.

Using Intentional Language

What to Do: Pay attention to your words, both spoken and internal. Each day, challenge yourself to identify one negative or careless statement you’ve made. Reframe it into something intentional, kind, and constructive.

Why It Works: Words shape your reality. By practicing impeccability, you align your language with the life you want to create.

Example: Replace “I’m terrible at this” with “I’m learning and improving every day.”

Emotional Reset Pause

What to Do: The next time you feel offended or triggered by someone’s actions, pause and ask yourself, “Is this really about me?” Take a deep breath and observe your reaction without judgment.

Why It Works: This tool trains you to detach from others’ projections, protecting your peace and helping you respond instead of react.

Example: When receiving criticism, remind yourself, “This is a reflection of their reality, not my worth.”

Assumption Reframe

What to Do: When faced with a misunderstanding, stop and ask, “What am I assuming here?” Follow up with direct communication to clarify the truth.

Why It Works: Assumptions create unnecessary conflict. Courageous communication fosters understanding and trust.

Example: Instead of assuming a colleague ignored your idea, ask, “Did you have a chance to consider my suggestion?”

Evening Compass Check

What to Do: Each night, take five minutes to reflect: “Did I do my best today?” Celebrate where you showed up fully, and identify one area to improve tomorrow.

Why It Works: This daily ritual reinforces self-compassion and creates a mindset of continuous growth without self-judgment.

Example: If you missed a workout, reframe it as, “I didn’t show up today, but I can recommit tomorrow.”  

Mantra Creation

What to Do: Write down a personal affirmation inspired by each agreement. Repeat these mantras daily, especially in moments of doubt.

Why It Works: Mantras rewire your brain to focus on intention and alignment, reinforcing the agreements in real time.

Examples:

• “I speak with love and integrity.”
• “I release what isn’t mine to carry.”
• “I ask instead of assume.”
• “I honor my best, no matter what.”